Brazilian Bump

Well kids, I might look 8 months pregnant, but I'm actually only 5. We're 20 weeks to be exact. Half way done... and now that I have hit the half way mark, its really is go time. I gain a pound a week. She gains between 1/4 and 1/2. My size has stayed really steady (until about a week ago) - which means Audrey has formed out of the amorphous gases that blew my belly up like a balloon upon conception. I decided, when I got pregnant, that I could not, would not, and should not weigh myself. I have no desire to see the scale tip 150. I turn my back to it and tell the nurses: "If I'm hurting my child, let me know. Until then, I'm a slim and trim 128... as I should be." They look at me like I'm a recovering anorexic or something - but there is a beauty in ignorance.

Baby Audrey gets bigger everyday, and as a result, momma has less and less space for her internal organs. First went the bladder - baby sat on it all day and momma was a like a leaky faucet of pee. Then went the stomach - not only did baby Audrey steal momma's food for her own, making me constantly hungry for things I couldn't easily get my hands on (veggie-bologna and mustard sandwiches on burnt wheat bread probably being the most repulsive) but she also pushed up against my stomach just enough so that eating more then a mouthful was a recipe for heartburn, indigestion, nausea, you name it. and now - well now baby Audrey has decided to crowd out my diaphragm and lungs, so momma is constantly feeling a shortness of breath.

My nana has explained to me that this is pain we vertically challenged folk must endure in order to create more vertically challenged off-spring.

If I carry a baby the size of my nephew, well, let me tell you - I'm fucked.

In other news from the Southern Hemisphere, the stories I am hearing from my grandmother are amazing. So far I have around 6 hours of material. We record for about an hour a night. I have no idea how I want to structure the final product, but I think we are both enjoying the process, and I can't help but think that little Audrey is getting her first women studies lesson in the womb.

Matthew arrives in Brazil on August 4th. Until then, we'll wait with bated breath. literally and figuratively.

Hope this finds everyone having a happy healthy summer of sun.